Texting Each Other All Day
Over the past several weeks I’ve noticed an increase in relationship readings. What never fails to dismay me is the changes that have been wrought in relationships due to our increasing reliance on technology. Don’t get me wrong, I love technology. In matters of the heart, however, a couple meets and within a day they are texting each other all day long. There is an expectation of constant communication which I think is counter-intuitive.
Relationships are like baking a hearty bread. It takes time. The speed at which relationships spark, share and turn off now takes a matter of weeks. Romance has become like fast food. Meet someone; like the flavour (appearance and superficial personality characteristics); text each other twenty times a day until you hit a snag and it’s over. Next?
I hear from men and women, “But s/he hasn’t responded to my messages in two days. What does that mean?” Back in my single days (thirty years ago), if I hadn’t heard from a guy in a couple of weeks, I just thought he must be as busy me. But now it would seem that if you haven’t heard from someone in a couple of days, it’s a dud. Like a flash fire or freeze relationships soar and die as fast as it takes to send a text message!
Too Much Information is Counter-Intuitive
All this immediate and intense communication between newly inspired couples is also counter-intuitive. How do you feel about this person? What are your dreams revealing? How would you know if you don’t give yourself some time for this exciting new attraction to settle into your psyche? Don’t assume that just because you haven’t heard from someone in a few days it’s because you didn’t make quite the stellar impression you were hoping. Instead use the silence as a much needed intuitive check in.
All relationships are getting infected by this often apparent compulsion for communication. Kids are expected to check in throughout the day so parents know where they are and what their plans are. I couldn’t imagine anything more abhorrent to me as a child than having to check in about where I am, whom I’m with and when I’d be home. They were invasive enough in my view. When I left the house in the morning for school I was happy to know I’d see mom later for dinner. Did I get into trouble? Of course I did. But most of that was no one’s business but my own and I was quite pleased to have it that way.
Certainly people are becoming increasingly upset by how text responsive they are expected to be to their work place. “You had your blackberry turned off?”, the boss inquires severely on Monday morning as if you are turning into a pathetic loser. A slacker or derelict that can be easily replaced by a more willing and responsive servant, you need hardly be reminded.
Give the Sacredness of Your Connection Time to Grow
Boundaries and privacy are as vital to the health of a relationship as kissing. When you meet a new exciting love interest, give the sacredness of the experience time to grow. Avoid texting. If they don’t call in a couple of weeks, use the time to put your intuition to work. Too much too fast brings a natural cycle to a head too quickly. Given enough time and thought this person could be just the one you’d thrill to be with forever. Be the one to say you don’t text when you meet someone that sets your soul on fire. And stand by your conviction. If they feel compelled to text, fine but let them know you don’t do that.
Texting is too cold a medium to support a real authentic and soul connect. Remember that too much information too fast smothers and buries more relationships than it nurtures; beautiful and romantic love stories that might have flowered given more mystery, elusiveness and anticipation.